“SPITTER, where’s my lucky pen?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t take it!”
“I saw you last night. You took my lucky pen Spitter!” replied Bedhead.
“You were drunk Bedhead! How would you remember?”
“Well find it pledge, before I make you a part of the door!”
“Guys, Guys. Do we have a problem?” Cappie asked in a fatherly tone as he entered the kitchen.
“Yes, Bedhead is wrongly accusing--” Spitter started to answer.
“Okay, men, or shall I say children? Is it not meeting time? Living room…now!” Cappie continued with little regard to Spitter’s explanation.
The KT men made their way into the living room as soon as they heard Cappie’s, the president of KT, call from the ’super special conch’ shell that signified that a mandatory meeting in the living room. The men all took a seat in the living room. Cappie soon started speaking, “I have called this meeting fellow brethren, to discuss, well brotherhood, a concept most of us seem to have a problem understanding? You are part of this house because you were rightfully chosen to become part of a family, and may I add, not your normal everyday American family, a KT family! You all, at some point during your time as a pledge, proved you wanted and could be a part of this brotherhood but I am beginning to doubt that hell week was enough to reinforce your commitment to this house and all the brothers that reside in this glorious home. Take a look at the boys sitting around you. These are your brothers. You are lucky to have such people around you in this fun time we call college, something the math and science geeks in the dorms do not understand.”
“HEY!” yelled Spitter, quickly hushed by Cappie’s hard gaze.
“As I was saying, before I was uninvitingly interrupted by pledge Spitter, we are all brothers and have an equal duty in this house to be there for each other, whether we get dumped by our girlfriends, have football practice after a long night of partying, or have a polymer science test.” Cappie glanced towards Spitter, the science geek in the house, with a joking smile. “We will always be there for each other, no excuses. I believe that the wise words of Malcolm X summarize our relationship with each other in this house. As he once said, ‘I believe in the brotherhood of all men, but I don't believe in wasting brotherhood on anyone who doesn't want to practice it with me.’ So listen to me when I say, unite as a family of close brothers or find a house that will put up with your ways. Spitter, who helped you when you almost missed the most important exam of last year?”
“My brothers,” Spitter replied timidly.
Cappie nodded, turning to his next victim. “Cueball, who was there for you to destroy the Omega house when you lost your girl friend to that disgusting dweeb from Omega?”
“My brothers,” Cueball replied more confidently.
Cappie continued, “Now if I were you, I would stop thinking about myself and start reminding myself of why I wanted to be a part of Kappa Tau when I first stepped through the back doors as a pledge during the annual Pledge Party. Now if you don’t think you can do this, you may walk away right now. No hard feelings, promise.” Cappie stood for a moment watching to see if anyone would lift his hand but no one moved an inch. “Okay then, I see that we all agree we want to be a part of the KT brotherhood.” Cappie smiled contently and then began to yell in a motivating coach like voice. “Who are we?”
“KT!” The brothers yelled encouragingly in unison.
“Why are we here?”
“Brotherhood!”
“What do we love to do?”
“Party!” The replies turned into enthusiastic shouts.
“NO! What is the other thing we love to do?” Cappie asked, a little frustrated.
“Help our brothers!”
“Thank you KT brothers. Now, I have arranged for brother bonding week to start Monday so please see your list of duties posted on the fridge next to the party schedule. We have arranged activities that will challenge you to become the best brother in the house. Now besides rewarding yourself with a week full of brotherhood bonding, there will be a grand prize. The one who proves to be the ULTIMATE brother will receive a night of free drinks at Dobbler’s.”
“YEAH!! Who are we? KT!” everyone yelled at once.
“Well that worked out quite nicely. It worked out way better than I thought. Don’t you agree brother Spitter?”
“Agreed brother Cappie.”
